Like a Loaded Gun

Looking back 

will feel like a loaded gun

Hold it to your heart

and pull the trigger

Shooting blanks will remind you 

That there are no answers 

for the questions you have,

The days will pass

without words to describe each one,

Grasp at the things

That call to you from memory

Like mornings filled with her perfume

The things you'd like to say over dinner

will lump in your throat

Breathe

This will not be a double funeral,

Your heart is running on empty

You can't go very far on this guilt trip,

Forgive

The broken traffic light,

the slippery road,

the heavy rain that caused both,

Science

Forgive the grave 

for accepting 

what you were not ready to give up,

Forgive yourself, 

You vowed to be everything,

And even that was too much of a thing to be.