We sit on borrowed time. Realistically we sit on resentment and unresolved issues that span our 13 years together but we sit firmly. No one wants to be the one to move. To say, “I don’t think this is working for either of us” and free the other from the unspoken shame of not succeeding. It is that type of marriage. We never had hobbies together or much to say to each other. We didn’t have to. There’s always family around- his cousin, my cousin, his mother, my father, our friends- sometimes in groups, the children. It wasn’t always this way but maybe it was. I wanted to get married, he did not. I got pregnant and he never quite forgave that. His father would not allow any other decision to be made. He listened to his father or else the funds dried up. I wanted a very comfortable life, so I chose him. I also chose all the men between us. The men we don’t discuss and we don’t need to. One of us will cave soon, until then, we see each other, clearly.
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