I Gotta Go

i crushed every bottle i drowned my dreams in to make stained glass

i wanted a window that truly reflected the world i would have had

i crushed them

to stop myself from being able to frame a future i could return to

every bottle i could find looked like an empty promise 

a hollowed-out heart

an apology that ends with but

a sentence that begins with sorry

i sat with the aftertaste every morning and

tried to forget every night.

so. i have got to go

to learn forgiveness

use it as a mouthguard

as glue

salve

a mirror

to love what reflects back

to love it whole

no matter the wreckage

I gotta go