You never learned how to swim
Every pool is an ocean to panic
Your breath fights to escape being trapped in your lungs
Your arms and feet think “land” and imitate running
The first thing they teach in swim class is
How surrender is the survival you seek
But faced with survival you forget the lesson
and reach for some thing/one
This wasn’t in the lesson but your hand knows
no, remembers
what being saved feels like from years before
When the waves at the beach
tossed your body around in darkness
some thing/one screamed for your hands
You shot them up, arms lifted you out
a nightmare of seconds
The pool is different
You are the only one making waves
You got in on your own
With the fear of being heavy enough to drown
not light enough to be lifted out
but the lessons say
to survive an open mouth that can swallow you whole
You must first lose the fight
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