Complete as a hurricane

Photograph by Abhishek Gaurav

I’m holding this compass

This stubborn feeling that you are sitting on a beach, writing our initials in the sand, with your fingers digging into the earth again and again, -this feeling is the compass guiding me.

I’m no good at explaining, so I won’t to try to make you understand how I lost you, what wreckage, I’ve been through to dig up the memories so scarce. I only know in them I found your smile, remembered the perfume that never seemed to leave your clothes, a cold morning, we swam across the lake because you start every birthday with a dare.

Now, they wonder how I will see you without eyes, but I have seen you already, I see you still. swinging off the parachute, into our vows.

I feel the depression on my skin where a ring should be…. And So I’m fighting to remember what it feels like to be in a storm of your choosing, to see you still… every mountain we climbed, every mid-day we rediscovered our skin in silent worship. I know I’m close, if I am right, so are you.